Breaking the Myths: Why Ignoring ADHD Harms More Than Helps
There are common misconceptions about children with ADHD and a social tendency to minimize its validity and the impact of untreated ADHD on children’s ability to thrive. We’ve all heard these misconceptions: “He’s a boy – don’t all boys have ADHD?” “He is a kid – how can we expect him to sit still.” Or worse still “if you provided proper discipline he would not behave like this.”
ADHD, while relatively common, should not be minimized or overlooked by parents or professionals. Misattributing symptoms of ADHD to a child’s behavioral problem or to parental incompetence does little to address the problem and will leave them at risk. As parents, if we choosing not to address symptoms that our children cannot control, we leave them vulnerable to learning, social and behavioral problems. In childhood, this can mean that our children are punished for behavior they can’t control, experience friendship issues, or are accident prone. Scarier still, unaddressed ADHD in adulthood is associated with a range of even more serious problems, including school failure and dropout, alcohol abuse, relationship issues, pregnancy, car accidents and trouble with the law. By addressing ADHD in childhood, we give our kids the gift of knowing themselves, learning how to address the weaknesses caused by ADHD and how to capitalize on the many amazing strengths that people with ADHD have.
So what is ADHD and when should you worry?
ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by difficulty regulating attention and/or display of impulsive/hyperactive behavior. It is important to understand that children with ADHD do not necessarily have trouble concentrating or focusing all the time, but they may have trouble regulating their attention to focus on the right things. For example, a child in math class who is immersed in writing a catalog of his favorite pokemon collection is very focused, but their mind is not regulated to the critical task of learning multiplication. Hyperactive and impulsive behavior can manifest as frequently interrupting, reslessness and difficulty sitting still, trouble regulating strong emotions, and acting without thinking. Children with ADHD may experience only attention regulation difficulties, only impulsive hyperactive behavior, or a combination of both.
Five Common Signs of ADHD
Your child may have ADHD if…
1. Your child has difficulty starting tasks and seeing them to completion. These tasks could range from doing homework, to cleaning their room, to emptying their school bag, to competing an art project of their own choosing. Children with ADHD often have trouble with task initiation and self-monitoring, or their ability to be mindful of progress that the are making towards a goal.
2. Your child has strong and wide ranging emotions. Children with ADHD can often cycle quickly from silly laughing to cartoon-style tears in a matter of seconds. Children with ADHD can have difficulty inhibiting impulses, which includes managing strong emotions that they may have.
3. Your child interrupts and talks excessively. Children with ADHD sometimes have difficulty waiting for their turn, including pauses in conversations. They may seek your attention with a stream of consciousness with everything that is on their mind.
4. Your child has difficulty paying attention to the right things. Children with ADHD can experience hyperfocus, particularly on things that they are naturally interested in. I have occasionally had parents express confusion over an ADHD diagnosis because they see their child pay attention so intently at times. Again, children with ADHD have the ability to pay attention sometimes, but often have trouble regulating their attention to the things they are supposed to be paying attention to. This can make them accident prone and frustrated when they are chastized for not doing what they are supposed to – in fact they may not have even registered the adult expectation.
5. Your child is highly creative with many big ideas and plans. Children with ADHD often bring a lot of energy to life. This is such an amazing superpower and can be so fun as a parent (though sometimes exhausting too). If you child is fully of energy, ideas and enthusiasm it may be a clue about the way that his brain works.
So What Can I Do About It?
The first step to follow if you suspect that your child may have ADHD is to schedule an evaluation with a psychologist. In public schools, you can request an IEP (see my blog post on requesting an IEP through the public school system). If your child is in private school you can request an independent evaluation with a psychologist. The evaluation process is lengthy (usually at least two sessions of multiple hours at a time) and will give you a ton of great information about your child. Following diagnosis, the psychologist will make recommendations and give you treatment options. The best treatment for ADHD typically involves a multi pronged approach including
· accommodation (extended time on tests, preferential seating in the classroom),
· intervention (executive functioning coaching, teaching of memory nemonics, and organizational skills)
· medication (often stimulant medications to support attention and focus)
Medications, really?
Medications for children with ADHD include methylphenidate (ritalin, concerta) and amphetamines (adderall, vyvanse). You, like many parents, may worry about giving medication to their children, especially young children. It is true that there are some side effects to consider with medications for ADHD. These include appetite suppression which can lead to weight loss, insomnia, irritability, stomach aches, and (usually mild) increases in blood pressure.
Risks of Untreated ADHD
However, it is important to remember that there are risks of not treating ADHD too. In childhood, these may include difficulty with friendships, academic issues due to lack of availability to learn, mental health problems like depression and anxiety, and proneness to accidents and injuries. In adulthood, people with untreated ADHD may experience higher risks of smoking and substance abuse, financial instability, legal issues, increased depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem, increased risk of arrest, difficulty maintaining friendships and romantic relationships, underachievement in school and higher rates of school dropout.
Long-term Benefits of Medications for ADHD
Mediations to treat ADHD have also been observed with the following benefits, including permanent long-term benefits, according to a review and meta-analysis published in Neuroscience and Behavioral Reviews.
· Improved attention, inhibition and reaction time
· Enhanced working memory
· Neuroprotective effects. Long term stimulant use in children with ADHD is correlated with increased cortical thickness. This suggests that medication may protect brain development and mitigate structural differences observed in untreated ADHD.
Key Takeaways
1. Although treatment options for ADHD are a personal decision for families, I believe, in many cases, benefits of medications outweigh the costs. I recommend that you weigh the side effects of giving medications to your children against the risks of not treating your child’s ADHD appropriately. At a minimum it may be helpful to consult with your child’s pediatrician or a psychiatrist to help you make this decision.
2. If you wonder whether your child has ADHD I think it is worth formally asking this question of a psychologist. I invite the parents I work with to reframe their thinking about what an ADHD diagnosis means. ADHD does not mean that something is wrong with your child, it is simply a description of how your child’s brain works. The good news is that there are clear solutions for the difficulties that people with ADHD face. And Importantly, people with ADHD have many amazing strengths that are worth celebrating. Their brains are wired for creativity, curiosity, and out-of-the-box thinking—making them natural innovators and problem-solvers. Many have a remarkable ability to hyperfocus on what they love, diving deep into passions and producing brilliant work when engaged. Their high energy can be infectious, bringing enthusiasm, spontaneity, and fun to teams, classrooms, and families. They’re often deeply empathetic, intuitive, and resilient, having developed emotional intelligence from navigating a world that doesn’t always understand them. With the right support, individuals with ADHD don’t just cope—they thrive, often becoming the inventors, artists, entrepreneurs, and leaders who push boundaries and spark change.
Final Thoughts
In the end, understanding ADHD isn’t about labeling your child—it’s about unlocking their potential. Recognizing the signs and seeking a proper evaluation opens the door to tools, strategies, and supports that can change the course of your child’s life. When ADHD is addressed with compassion and science-based treatment, kids can thrive not in spite of their differences, but because of them. With the right help, their big ideas, boundless energy, and creativity become superpowers—not struggles. You don’t have to walk this path alone, and your child doesn’t have to face these challenges without a map. The first step is simply asking the question—and being open to the answers.
References (for the curious mind)
Barkley, R. A., Fischer, M., Smallish, L., & Fletcher, K. (2006). Young adult outcome of hyperactive children: Adaptive functioning in major life activities. Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 45(2), 192–202. https://doi.org/10.1097/01.chi.0000189134.97436.e2
Biederman, J., Petty, C. R., Clarke, A., Lomedico, A., & Faraone, S. V. (2011). Predictors of persistent ADHD: An 11-year follow-up study. Journal of Psychiatric Research, 45(2), 150–155. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jpsychires.2010.05.002
Molina, B. S. G., Hinshaw, S. P., Swanson, J. M., Arnold, L. E., Vitiello, B., Jensen, P. S., ... & MTA Cooperative Group. (2009). The MTA at 8 years: Prospective follow-up of children treated for combined-type ADHD in a multisite study. Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 48(5), 484–500. https://doi.org/10.1097/CHI.0b013e31819c23d0
Shaw, M., Hodgkins, P., Caci, H., Young, S., Kahle, J., Woods, A. G., & Arnold, L. E. (2012). A systematic review and analysis of long-term outcomes in attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder: Effects of treatment and non-treatment. BMC Medicine, 10, 99. https://doi.org/10.1186/1741-7015-10-99
Wilens, T. E., & Spencer, T. J. (2010). Understanding attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder from childhood to adulthood. Postgraduate Medicine, 122(5), 97–109. https://doi.org/10.3810/pgm.2010.09.2206
Daviss, W. B. (2008). A review of co-morbid depression in pediatric ADHD: Etiology, phenomenology, and treatment. Journal of Child and Adolescent Psychopharmacology, 18(6), 565–571. https://doi.org/10.1089/cap.2008.032
Barkley, R. A., & Murphy, K. R. (2006). Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder: A clinical workbook (3rd ed.). Guilford Press.
Langley, K., Fowler, T. A., Ford, T., Thapar, A. K., & Thapar, A. (2010). Adverse outcomes and risk behaviors in boys with ADHD: A controlled, prospective 10-year follow-up study. Psychological Medicine, 40(4), 667–678. https://doi.org/10.1017/S0033291709990831
Dalsgaard, S., Østergaard, S. D., Leckman, J. F., Mortensen, P. B., & Pedersen, M. G. (2015). Mortality in children, adolescents, and adults with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder: A nationwide cohort study. The Lancet, 385(9983), 2190–2196. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0140-6736(14)61684-6
Spencer, T. J., Biederman, J., Mick, E., & Faraone, S. V. (2007). The overlap of ADHD and bipolar disorder in children: A therapeutic challenge. Journal of Child and Adolescent Psychopharmacology, 17(1), 87–93. https://doi.org/10.1089/cap.2006.0121
Rubia, K., El Masri, S., Radua, J., & Isfandnia, F. (2024). The effects of chronic administration of stimulant and non-stimulant medications on executive functions in ADHD: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Neuroscience and Biobehavioral Reviews, 162, 105703. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.neubiorev.2024.105703