Divorce is never easy — but when tensions run high, the people caught in the middle often aren’t the adults. They’re the kids. However, there is good news! Research consistently shows that while divorce can be a significant stressor for children, the majority are able to adjust well over time—especially when parental conflict is minimized. According to psychologist E. Mavis Hetherington’s long-term studies, approximately 75–80% of children from divorced families show no long-term serious psychological issues and are able to adapt successfully, particularly when parents maintain cooperative, low-conflict relationships post-divorce. Positive outcomes are more likely when children are shielded from ongoing hostility and when both parents remain involved in their lives in supportive, consistent ways (Hetherington & Kelly, 2002).

However, in contrast, high-conflict divorces can leave lasting emotional scars on children, even when parents have the best intentions. That’s where co-parenting therapy comes in — not to reconcile a romantic relationship, but to build a functional, respectful parenting alliance for the child’s sake.

Children exposed to high-conflict divorce are at greater risk for a range of negative outcomes, especially when conflict is prolonged and unresolved. Research highlights several key areas of concern:

Emotional distress: Increased rates of anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem
Behavioral issues: Higher incidence of aggression, defiance, and difficulty with authority
Academic struggles: Lower academic achievement and decreased school engagement
Relationship difficulties: Trouble forming and maintaining healthy peer and romantic relationships
Long-term mental health risks: Elevated risk of chronic stress and emotional dysregulation into adulthood

These risks are most pronounced when children are caught in the middle of parental disputes or used as messengers or leverage during custody battles (Kelly & Emery, 2003).

What Is Co-Parenting Therapy?

Co-parenting therapy is a structured, therapeutic process that helps divorced or separated parents improve communication, reduce conflict, and make joint decisions that support their children’s well-being.

It’s not about settling old scores — it’s about learning to work together, even when you don’t see eye to eye.

Why It’s Especially Important in High-Conflict Divorce

In high-conflict divorces, arguments often spill into parenting decisions, schedules, and communication — sometimes turning kids into messengers or emotional referees.

Co-parenting therapy helps by:

Creating boundaries and structure
Reducing emotional reactivity in communication
Focusing on child-centered decision-making
Developing parallel parenting strategies when cooperation isn’t possible

It’s a place to learn conflict management skills — not just for peace today, but for long-term emotional health and stability for the entire family.

How It Helps the Kids

Research consistently shows that ongoing parental conflict — not divorce itself — is what most negatively impacts children. Kids who see their parents cooperating, even after separation, tend to:

Have better emotional regulation
Experience less anxiety and depression
Feel more secure and supported

When kids see their parents still acting as a team (even if it’s just on the important things), they can stop feeling like they have to pick sides.

When to Consider Co-Parenting Therapy

You might benefit from co-parenting therapy if:

You and your coparent argue frequently in front of the kids
There's confusion or hostility around parenting time
Communication is tense, inconsistent, or hostile
One or both parents feel "stuck" or constantly triggered

Final Thought

You may no longer be partners in marriage, but you’ll always be partners in parenting. Co-parenting therapy isn’t about winning — it’s about healing, setting healthy boundaries, and prioritizing your child’s future over past hurts.

Because even in divorce, your child deserves a unified front.

References (for the curious mind):

Hetherington, E. M., & Kelly, J. (2002). For Better or For Worse: Divorce Reconsidered. W.W. Norton & Company.

Kelly, J. B., & Emery, R. E. (2003). Children's adjustment following divorce: Risk and resilience perspectives. Family Relations, 52(4), 352–362. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3729.2003.00352.x